A TOV Intergenerational Project

I read and shared this FB article about Dutch students who can now live in nursing homes rent-free as long as they keep the residents company. Many people have responded what a great idea this is! Twenty-somethings are flocking to this new idea. It is a unique project that benefits everyone. I remember teaching some younger kids and they were making fun of "old people." I said to them, “If you're lucky, someday you'll get old. Would you like to be treated that way?” Silence.

University students pay no rent and in exchange, spend at least 30 hours a month with some of the 160 elderly who live in this particular facility, doing things professional staff cannot always do -- such as hanging out. They go see the pensioners for a chat, play games, go with them to the shopping center, and do shopping for those who can't.

It is important not to isolate the elderly from the outside world. These ideas are very important in preventing care "ghettoes." I think having young people around elderly people is also an opportunity for the young to hear the stories and learn the "values" of that generation, especially when the old do not have children or grandchildren. It gives the elderly the feeling that someone will remember them. This is also an opportunity for younger people who may feel isolated or lonely to receive attention and love from their "adopted grandparents." As one person said, "When you're 96 years old with a knee problem, the knee isn't going to get any better; but what we can do is create an environment where you forget about the painful knee."

"The sharing idea has resonated in a country where many people do volunteer work, and other retirement homes are coming up with their own variations on a theme." These "intergenerational" projects are springing up elsewhere in Europe, but usually not within retirement homes because of the shortage of rooms." In some schemes, the elderly rent out a room in their own house or apartment; in others, housing projects are built specifically to house the young with the elderly." In Holland, the students prepare simple meals and offer activities according to the resident's interests. They use art, crafts, computer lessons, movies and the like. There is no obligation for the residents to take part in activities.

On another level, it is good for young people to be around those who are dying and death itself. We learn not to fear these things by being able to talk about them with those who are going through the experience. Dying and death make us what we are, human. No one should go through it alone and no one should hide themselves from the valuable lessons it teaches us about living fully, appreciating every precious moment. 

There is no age limit on kindness, on comfort, on company, on healing, on learning, on creativity, and on love. TOV Values rest upon Life and extend to its twins, aging, dying and death. Let us work together to make the whole experience of Living and Dying a TOV Project.

Blessings,

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor