When
my oldest son created a FB account for me, I didn't realize how much I would
enjoy re-connecting with people, some of whom I haven't been in touch with for
40 years. Just this week, I had a great time having lunch with some of my
friends from my former congregation here in Texas. Invariably, the majority of
conversation revolves around "catching up", and then everyone wants
to know, "So, what are you doing these days?" I tell them, (and
everyone else I meet) about the TOV Center.
For
twenty-five years, Jim Myers and I have studied, investigated, written and
taught together, working for a better world, with more knowledge, understanding
and TOV actions. We developed the TOV
Standard from the Ancient Wisdom of
Shared Values in order to enable people to Form and Maintain Values-Based Relationships for the Common Good,
and for the Good of ourselves as individuals as well.
Human
collectives are some of the most powerful forces on the face of the earth. The
glue that creates and holds them together is the relationships of the
individuals within them and their ability to maintain them. The breaking down
of existing relationships within a collective and/or the ability to persuade
others to form new relationships are symptoms that the life of the collective
is in danger of ending.
For
the past few decades, a collective that many of us know very well, has been
showing the symptoms of breaking down. The name of that collective is the United States of America. America,
unlike other nations, is a collective that formed on ideas and core values. It
has no common tribal origin. Instead of relationships between people based on
their shared ancestral blood, the American collective is based on relationships
between people with those common ideas and shared values in minds. The origin
of the nation is reflected in the opening phrase of the Declaration of Independence --" WE the People..." The basic principle being, that the new
nation will be governed by a government OF
the people, BY the people and FOR the people. The OF, BY and FOR require human
relationships.
The bottom line
is, the future of America is directly linked to the ability of its citizens to
form and maintain relationships with one another. Central to
making the decision to form and continue a relationship is our perception of
the answer to one question -- Can I trust
you? Unlike many other puzzles we confront, questions of trust all share
the characteristic of RISK.
Trust
implies a seeming unknowable, a delicate problem centered on the balance
between two dynamic and often opposing desires -- a desire for someone else to meet your needs and their desire to meet
their own needs. Trust isn't just about facts. It's also about trying to predict what someone will do based on
competing interest and capabilities. A key factor in predicting what people
will do is the values they hold. Relationships built upon shared values have
higher levels of trust than those that aren't.
We
are now very aware of how toxic the mixture of self-rejection, loneliness and
personal isolation can be. Lonely isolated individuals become increasingly
susceptible to Authoritarian Appeals (cults). They also disengage themselves
from the democratic process. It is no
surprise then, that growing numbers of Americans are being drawn to extremist
groups and turning away from their options to act as citizen and bring about
change.
This
is why the TOV Center exists and why it is needed now. As the number of
values-based relationships increase, and those with shared values interact -- families will become stronger, the number of
friends and confidants will increase, neighbors will connect and make their
neighborhoods safer, values will be incorporated into finding solutions to
specific problems that will benefit the entire community and help make America
a better, more dynamic , purposeful and inclusive place to make a life and live
a life.
Everything
begins with individuals consciously choosing their core values and learning how
to create values-based relationships. The TOV Center's mission is to assist
people and help them succeed in this process. This is not a "program"
it is a life-long transformative journey. Come join us in this important and
very timely work.
Rabbi
Jeffrey Leynor
President
of TOV Center, Inc.
PS Contact me if you would like for me to speak
to your organization, congregation or group about the TOV Center.
