I've
been so lucky in my life. I have three amazing kids, had wonderful parents and
family, and a few very close friends. I got to follow my dreams in music, and today
I am lifted by my work. Another blessing for which I am eternally grateful was to
know my grandparents. Their unconditional love, kindnesses, and sharing of their
stories of coming to America touched my life. And then, there were the trips to
the zoo, Coney Island, the circus, the toy stores, the fantastic food, and their
company around the holidays. I was blessed to learn their values and receive
their encouragement.
I
remember when my gramdpa Joe, my mother's father, was ill, dying of cancer, and
blind. He had always loved going for walks. During my breaks from being on the
road with the band Stanky Brown, I would go by, visit and take him on long
walks. One day he burst out crying. I asked what was wrong. He said he knew I
was young and busy, and he didn't want to be a burden on me. I hugged him and
said, “Don't you remember all the things,
places and experiences you did with me? Now it's time to return the favor, with
love, patience and kindness.”
I'm
sorry to say, that today I see more and more grandparents raising their
grandchildren. Drugs, alcohol, mental illness and neglect by the parents of their
grandchildren have put them in this position. Many grandparents are still
living the same values that enabled them to endure and be successful. Hopefully,
they will also be able to pass their values on to their grandchildren -- especially taking responsibility.
It
breaks my heart to hear so many stories of the abuse and neglect of children by
their parents. People have babies for many unsound reasons, to keep a partner,
because all their friends do, because they got pregnant, etc. Some of these
children end up with their grandparents; some are found in dumpsters and on
high school bathroom floors. I dedicated one of my original tee shirts to the
people that do such things to children -- "Genitals Are Not Entitlement To Parenthood!"
If a child is not going to be the most important
part of your life -- Don't have one!
Parenting
is not giving a kid a cell phone to keep them busy all the time. It is also not
constantly having your eyes locked on the apps on your phone or constantly
texting and neglecting your children. Parenting requires more than anything
else – clearly defined times in which
parents give their children their undivided attention. This goes for parents and grandparents, too.
There
are many grandparents ( as well as other older people) wasting away in
facilities with no one to visit them, no one to hear their stories, no one to
make them laugh, or no one to bring them joy. National Grandparents Day only
comes around once every year, but we can make any day a very special day for
our grandparents or other senior citizens. If you still have your grandparents,
let them know how much you love them and how much they've added to your life.
If they have passed on, dust off some of those memories & pictures -- be thankful, grateful and appreciative –
and share them with your children and grandchildren. Be a living link between those members of both generations.
Choose Life by
Doing TOV!
Rabbi
Jeffrey Leynor
