Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Thriving is TOV

I was meeting with a friend of mine recently, Joyce Ann Tepley. She wrote a book that I would highly recommend called, "Thriving Through It" - How They Do It, What It Takes to Transform Trauma Into Triumph. (Amazon has it). Joyce retired from a forty-year career as a clinical social worker and dedicated the rest of her life to honoring those who thrive through adversity, by telling their stories. Twenty people from all walks of life were interviewed for the book. They tell their own stories in their own words about what it takes to thrive through the most difficult times in their lives. Joyce herself, has dealt with Polio and a host of other physical problems and she is also a thriver!

One of the things I found most interesting about the book was the great insight into how people chose to respond to what life brought. Some were motivated to thrive "because of their difficulties,” while others were motivated to thrive "despite their situations.” Either way, the stories reflect the continuing process of growth in strength and wisdom.

We were discussing a planned trip she would make to California. As we, spoke I realized how much planning it takes for her to travel with all her needs and concerns. The airport, high cabin pressure of the plane and her breathing, the wheel chair, a cab that can accommodate it, her room arrangements, having access to food and getting around a major city.

Many of us take these things for granted. We travel on trains, planes and automobiles without considering the things that cross other people’s minds -- we just do them. This always brings me back to "The Curse of Blessings" idea. One of the ways I found to become happier is to be grateful, thankful and appreciative for my blessings – and take time to I acknowledge them every day. Each day, I recognize one new blessing. (It also helps reduce any whining or complaining that becomes habitual.)

Joyce works tirelessly on many projects and is involved in many organizations which truly represent the TOV Standard. Her efforts, Preserve Life, Protect Life, Increase the Function and Quality of Life for herself and others who are Thriving Through It. Her life and the lives of the people in the stories she shares are inspiring and instructive. Here is one model for being an "OPTIMALIST". An optimalist understands that not everything in life seems to happen for the best, but he or she makes the best of whatever happens. Trauma, Trouble and Crisis are part of what it means to be human. They also offer ways to thrive and flourish nonetheless, especially when we Do TOV – words and acts that Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life More Functional and Improve the Quality of Life. By Doing TOV We Choose Life.

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Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor