A
Dallas Morning News article, "Having
faith, if only for kids' sake," caught my attention. Did you know,
that "No Religion"
is now the fastest growing religious group in America, with 23% of the country
identifying themselves that way? In her book, Losing Our Religion: How Unaffiliated Parents Are Raising Their
Children, writer Ruth Graham looks
at how contemporary "Nones"
- people who report that they have no
religious affiliation whatsoever - handle the question of moral and
spiritual formation with their children. She says of herself that she's been a
church member for most of her adult life, but years without regular attendance,
her theology is "squishy" and she does not really pray.
So
what draws her soul? The warm memories and rituals of faith she is comfortable
and familiar with- the songs, the stories, the bread and wine, are meaningful
to her, but she can't say much for certain beyond that. She has a 3-year old
daughter and wants to raise her with the songs and stories and to get the moral
and personal grounding that she and her husband were raised with -- but
doesn't want her to be raised in fear of a Hell she doesn't believe in. Why
pretend to believe if you don't, and why inculcate your children into a
tradition you rejected?
"Kids ask questions about death, identity and other subjects that most
of us haven't grappled with since we were teenagers. When a child is watching
your every move, being a None is no longer a lack of religion, but an
identity that has consequences for another human being, and a mirror that
reflects back what you actually believe, rather than what you THINK you believe."
Graham
also points out that at this early stage of the None Revolution, the research
on raising kids with and without faith is mixed. With the rise of Social Media,
there is less social pressure to affiliate with a religious institution. Some
studies have shown that religious kids are better behaved and psychologically
healthier, while other show that secular kids are uniquely empathetic and less
prone to peer pressure. A new study of 1,000 children from six countries found
that those raised in religious households-most of them Christian or Muslim-were
more selfish than their nonreligious peers. The crux of the matter is this:
We
will never be able to agree about our THEOLOGIES and our MYTHOLOGIES and which
are TRUE or WHO'S RIGHT! This AUTHORITARIAN approach has failed miserably and
the result is the world we have now and the society we have now. Mutually
exclusive groups defending their BS (Belief Systems) – many trying to persuade everyone else they are right while others use violence,
terror and death!
We
believe TOV Values are good OPTIONS for all people, especially Nones.
(1) TOV
Values do not require anyone to "belief in” or “explain” a Deity.
(2) TOV
Values do not require anyone to "not belief in” a Deity.
(3) TOV
Values do not seek the death and destruction those who disagree.
(4) TOV
Values encourage interactions with people who disagree.
TOV
Values are based on ancient tried and proven wisdom that values and focuses on
LIFE, AFFIRMING LIFE, PROTECTING LIFE, PRESERVING LIFE, INCREASING LIFE'S
FUNCTIONALITY AND QUALITY FOR EVERYONE. TOV offers a common ground, an
opportunity for AGREEMENT, EDUCATION, RECONCILIATION AND RESOLUTION OF
PROBLEMS.
And
for the Nones, TOV Center Gatherings are safe places to explore all RELIGIOUS
MEMES (Beliefs) – especially those you
struggle with – openly, transparently and in light of facts. The TOV Values
approach uses stories that are familiar to over two billion people to teach
values-based lessons -- a good place to
start when you're searching for the values you wish to teach to your children.
All children love stories and nothing is more powerful than a parent telling a
child a story!
Parents
may be sure that sooner or later, their children will ask questions about right,
wrong, life, death and a host of other issues. The answers they are given are
important in shaping their belief systems and creating their realities – the way they view and understand life.
Our children deserve answers that we have given serious consideration, answers
we demonstrate in our lives.
It
is very important to learn about and teach TOV Values for "Kids'"
sake, but there are two additional very important reasons.
(1) Humans depend on other humans for their very
survival and that requires relationships.
(2) Democracy requires citizens who share a
common identity and core values – “We the people.”
We
created the TOV Center to educate people about TOV Values and provide
opportunities of self-discovery through interactions with others. We invite you
to join the journey with us – CLICK HERE.
Choose
Life First By Doing TOV!
Rabbi
Jeffrey Leynor
