One
of the definitions of power is -- a
possession of control, authority or influence over others. Historically
this has been done in two ways. The first and most widely used is PHYSICAL FORCE. Usually FORCE is backed by some Authority -- laws, the state, a dictator, military might -- and those with the
most wealth. In a number of cases, the Authority
behind the use of PHYSICAL FORCE is
based upon TRUTHS which may be backed
by either BELIEFS or FACTS.
● A BELIEF
is an evaluation in which trust or confidence is placed, although WITHOUT ABSOLUTE PROOF that one is
right.
● A FACT
is something that has the QUALITY OF
BEING ACTUAL; something that has actual existence; an actual PERCEIVABLE
occurrence.
The
difference between TRUTHS and BELIEFS is that TRUTHS are based on STANDARDS.
Standards are rules for measuring things that are generally accepted as correct
or right. A Standard may be based on facts or beliefs. Belief based Standards
are backed by Authority.
Power
is something that humans rarely ever share. Those with Power do everything they
can legally – and often illegally -- to
keep it. This has played out in many destructive ways in human history -- from ancient empires, the Roman Church,
Hitler, Stalin, Watergate -- the list goes on and on and on. One fact that
we must keep in mind is that the use of PHYSICAL FORCE sooner or later causes
those who suffer the affects to rebel.
Humans
have a second Power Option -- VERBAL PERSUASION. It may also be used
for destructive ends. How many people have knocked on your door to PERSUADE you
that their beliefs are correct and yours are wrong, while trying to persuade you
that you will somehow suffer eternal punishment if you do not agree with their
beliefs? How many politicians use a version of that argument to get your vote?
How many cult leaders have persuaded intelligent people to place “trust” in their
twisted perverse uses of religion – often
delusions of grandeur – that end with their followers being abused and
becoming mentally ill, committing suicide (sometimes as a group), or filling
the leader's pockets by giving him or her all of their money or property?
All
of us use power options every day when we want someone else to do or not do
something.
Thank goodness, the option people choose is Verbal Persuasion. How we use our power options affects the quality
of relationships we have. One of my
clients recently had an "Aha"
moment. He is an older gentleman, very successful, very intelligent, lived all
over the world, finest of everything. He can be very boastful, opinionated and
self-centered. These are areas we are working on. I told him the story of what
my own counselor said to me one day about my struggle with obesity. He said:
"You are a
person who has a real presence; you don't have to be the size of three people
to establish that. People can see and feel it about you when they meet
you!"
I
told my client that he does not have to IMPOSE his power over others. People are
aware of his power the moment he walks into the room. Good relationships are
built by people trying to IMPOSE their power on others -- they are built by people who are not afraid to share power! This works
in all relationships.
Power
options in the TOV Center Model are used to produce actions (including words
and thoughts) that Preserve Life, Protect
Life, Make Life More Functional and Increase the Quality of Life. PHYSICAL
FORCE is used only against those who are a direct threat to lives of others. Actions
are measured by how they affect human life and when those actions kill or harm
others, PHYSICAL FORCE is often the only barrier that will stop them. Protective
Barriers, including setting boundaries, are important TOV Values.
For those living in the Dallas-Ft. Worth
Metroplex area I have a special request.
I
want to meet with people and share the TOV Center vision of helping individuals
incorporate Time-Tested TOV Values in their lives, assist them in creating Values-Based
Relationships and then networking together to make their lives better and
safer.
● Would
you like to meet with me and attend a meeting?
● Would
you host a meeting?
If
your answer is “yes” to either or both of the above questions – email me by clicking here.
I am looking forward to seeing you and sharing our vision.
Shalom,
Rabbi
Jeffrey Leynor
