One
of the things I love to do is, offer an alternative Bar\Bat experience not only
for children with special needs, but also for children (and their parents) who
truly want to be part of a meaningful Rite of Passage. For so many children and
their families, this has become a Riteless Passage and Passageless Rite exiting
the Bar\Bat Mitzvah Mill. Large numbers of these post-Bar\Bat mitzvah vets will
not set foot in a synagogue again until necessary.
My
students love the one on one instruction and their parents enjoy and share in
the learning as well. Sometimes we delve into deep issues, questions of life
and death, about God, about the Bible and the stories being told. I was engaged
in just such a discussion with a young lady, who decided to become Bat Mitzvah
a few years older than the normal age. She was struggling with exactly what the
notion of being a Bat Mitzvah is and its meaning. We came to an insight that I
wanted to share. The best way to understand this rite is that it is not just
the day -- it's all the choices and
consequences which come after that day.
● A Bar\Bat Mitzvah is not a day -- it's a life.
● It is the obligation to take responsibility
for the decisions that will be made, just like like a grown up adult.
● It is the taking on of the self-obligation to
act for the good of the community as well as for your own.
In
order for someone to make these very important choices and decisions there must
be a Values Standard. She just happened to pick the Creation Narrative which contains the TOV STANDARD for her D'var Torah (her interpretation and teaching
on the story). She echoed her teacher and said, "Must be a good reason they started the whole Bible with the TOV
Standard." (It does a rabbi's heart good.)
She
may not remember the Ten Commandments,
or the words of the Prophets, but she
now has a Standard of Values for
making TOV decisions and choices. The Sages teach, that every person should
repent (do Teshuvah, process of
reconciliation and repair of relationships) the day before one's death! Since
we don't know when that day is, the message is, that should be every day.
Becoming
Bar\Bat Mitzvah may begin on a particular day, but the process and the journey
continues throughout our lives. Every day, we stand before the Tree of Knowledge of TOV and RAH, Good and
Evil, Life and Death -- Choose Life
by Doing TOV Every Day!
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Rabbi
Jeffrey Leynor
