Want Immediate Gratification? Do TOV!

What is the difference between a Master and a Beginner? The Master has failed more times than the Beginner could ever even imagine. One becomes a "Master" (M/F) by constantly practicing their skills and abilities in their lives. They see themselves as a work in progress because they understand that in the process of mastering something there is failure, defeat and loss, whether they are in competition with others or with themselves. However, they use those things to learn and grow from the failures, because they reframe the situation and figure out a different approach or tactic which enables them to progress.

I'm teaching this as well as learning it myself. It also funnels my energy into learning rather than beating myself up for failing or making a mistake. The "Immediate Gratification" comes from taking a negative and turning it to a positive. That decision empowers me!

Those who want instant results will be disappointed. Becoming a Master takes a long time. Very few people are automatic masters. In our culture, we are trained to expect immediate success, immediate results, immediate recognition, immediate wealth and so on. With such expectations, no wonder there are so many disappointed, impatient, enraged people around.

Most of the time, I have lots of questions and few answers, but in this case there is something we can all do that is not difficult. It will lift our spirits and the spirits of others, it will give us meaning and purpose and it will give immediate gratification as well as teaching gratification for the long-term by Doing TOV!

In Jewish Tradition, the Torah teaches that we are supposed to give a "handout" to the weakest and most vulnerable, but the highest form of Tzedakkah (justice/righteousness) is a "hand-up", which enables someone to become self-sufficient and contribute to the community. Our "yardstick" is the TOV Standard which are Thoughts, Words and Acts which Protect life, Preserve Life, Make Life More Functional and Increase the Quality of Life. When we act with loving-kindness towards others, when we fill a need, heal a wound, nourish a soul, the Gratification is Immediate. The result of these actions uplifts everyone involved and the reward is like a hefty deposit in our spiritual account.

Maybe we should do away with the "Bar/Bat Mitzvah" which has become a passageless rite for so many and create a new category for everyone called a "Ben TOV/Bat TOV" Sons and Daughters of Doing TOV. That is where people begin to study TOV and eventually after much practice and growth we become a "Ba'al TOV/ Ba'alit TOV" -- A Master of TOV. These people train and mentor others who are in process and help create communities who practice these values to repair the world. Want satisfaction, meaning, purpose and immediate and long-term gratification, become a Master of TOV.

DO TOV Choose Life!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor