What is Real Power?

One of the definitions of power is -- a possession of control, authority or influence over others. Historically this has been done in two ways. The first and most widely used is PHYSICAL FORCE.  Usually FORCE is backed by some Authority -- laws, the state, a dictator, military might -- and those with the most wealth. In a number of cases, the Authority behind the use of PHYSICAL FORCE is based upon TRUTHS which may be backed by either BELIEFS or FACTS.

● A BELIEF is an evaluation in which trust or confidence is placed, although WITHOUT ABSOLUTE PROOF that one is right.

● A FACT is something that has the QUALITY OF BEING ACTUAL; something that has actual existence; an actual PERCEIVABLE occurrence.

The difference between TRUTHS and BELIEFS is that TRUTHS are based on STANDARDS. Standards are rules for measuring things that are generally accepted as correct or right. A Standard may be based on facts or beliefs. Belief based Standards are backed by Authority.

Power is something that humans rarely ever share. Those with Power do everything they can legally – and often illegally -- to keep it. This has played out in many destructive ways in human history -- from ancient empires, the Roman Church, Hitler, Stalin, Watergate -- the list goes on and on and on. One fact that we must keep in mind is that the use of PHYSICAL FORCE sooner or later causes those who suffer the affects to rebel.

Humans have a second Power Option -- VERBAL PERSUASION. It may also be used for destructive ends. How many people have knocked on your door to PERSUADE you that their beliefs are correct and yours are wrong, while trying to persuade you that you will somehow suffer eternal punishment if you do not agree with their beliefs? How many politicians use a version of that argument to get your vote? How many cult leaders have persuaded intelligent people to place “trust” in their twisted perverse uses of religion – often delusions of grandeur – that end with their followers being abused and becoming mentally ill, committing suicide (sometimes as a group), or filling the leader's pockets by giving him or her all of their money or property?

All of us use power options every day when we want someone else to do or not do something. Thank goodness, the option people choose is Verbal Persuasion. How we use our power options affects the quality of relationships we have.  One of my clients recently had an "Aha" moment. He is an older gentleman, very successful, very intelligent, lived all over the world, finest of everything. He can be very boastful, opinionated and self-centered. These are areas we are working on. I told him the story of what my own counselor said to me one day about my struggle with obesity. He said:

"You are a person who has a real presence; you don't have to be the size of three people to establish that. People can see and feel it about you when they meet you!"

I told my client that he does not have to IMPOSE his power over others. People are aware of his power the moment he walks into the room. Good relationships are built by people trying to IMPOSE their power on others -- they are built by people who are not afraid to share power! This works in all relationships.

Power options in the TOV Center Model are used to produce actions (including words and thoughts) that Preserve Life, Protect Life, Make Life More Functional and Increase the Quality of Life. PHYSICAL FORCE is used only against those who are a direct threat to lives of others. Actions are measured by how they affect human life and when those actions kill or harm others, PHYSICAL FORCE is often the only barrier that will stop them. Protective Barriers, including setting boundaries, are important TOV Values.

For those living in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex area I have a special request.

I want to meet with people and share the TOV Center vision of helping individuals incorporate Time-Tested TOV Values in their lives, assist them in creating Values-Based Relationships and then networking together to make their lives better and safer.

● Would you like to meet with me and attend a meeting?

● Would you host a meeting?

If your answer is “yes” to either or both of the above questions – email me by clicking here. I am looking forward to seeing you and sharing our vision.

Shalom,

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor