Violence, Values & Trust

I recently had a marvelous experience. I was making copies at Office Max for a class I'm teaching. As I was waiting to pay, I noticed large pictures of a WWII torpedo bomber floating in the water near an aircraft carrier on the counter. A very elderly man was standing there with a ball cap that said "28th Torpedo Bomber Squadron." I asked, "Is that you?" He answered "Yep, about 70 years ago. We just came back from a torpedo run against the Japanese fleet. I ran out of fuel and had to ditch my bird." I said," WOW!" I thanked him for his service and told him how much what he and so many others did is appreciated. His big smile was his thanks. He said, "Back then, we had a job to do, and we did it. It's not like now and all this terrible violence."  I responded, "Amen!"

I remember when I was growing up and eating dinners as a family. The TV would be on and the news would list the daily body counts during the Vietnam War. They were just numbers, the dead, the wounded the missing. After a while, they were just numbers, not people to many of those watching the news. Of course, it was a very different situation to those involved and their families. But, all of this violence took place in a war where violence was the only option for the soldiers.

Doing the work that I do -- dealing with homicide, suicide, domestic violence and PTSD -- violence is “the chosen response.” More and more American civilians are “choosing” to respond to adversity and disagreements with acts of violence. What is the problem? We could go back and forth about whether violent video games and movies have numbed the senses. No one has to deal with a problem -- just blow everyone away! I do not and never have played video games. I usually have too much to do. But really, the best “game” I ever play is the one in my mind, which we used to call "imagination." I can go anywhere, be anything and do anything at any time. And it's all on the screen in my mind. My game allows me to consider the outcomes of different choices I am considering. I wonder if video games offer different options – without violence – as possible responses to problems. Nah, that probably would never fly!

Violence is everywhere today.

● I just finished reading about "mobs" of Buddhists in Myanmar. They are attacking the small Muslim minority people called Rohingya who endured killings, extortion and beatings and expulsion from the country.

● Locally, a16 year old boy murdered a 16 year old girl who was a “close friend.”

● Another person was stabbed to death because she wanted her "boyfriend" to move out due to domestic violence.

Maybe this violence is the new normal reaction to not having individual needs gratified immediately. Maybe it is because the perpetrators of violence were never taught about how to act as a mature moral adult who understands that much of this life does not give us what we want and how to cope with disappointment.

When I was in the Seminary, one of my professors said a most profound thing. He said, "There is no freedom, without the discipline of Torah!" We read the Torah every week in synagogues together. We learn how those in the Torah responded to different situations and see them in light of the instructions given in the Torah. We also acquire shared values that we can build community relationships on. Without shared core values, everyone acts as “an individual” and does whatever they want (or have learned to act by watching others) – there is no common ground. First you have chaos in individual lives and then it spreads throughout communities.

The Hebrew word “Torah” means, “instruction and teaching.” The teaching establishes the core shared values. In the Torah, the first values and standard revealed are those the Creator uses to judge His own actions – we call them TOV Values & the TOV Standard. This allows us to measure our actions, as well as the actions of others, by a common standard that holds the protection and preservation of human life as its highest value.

Chances increase tremendously among those who hold core TOV Values that their response to adversity and disagreement will not be violence. You see, there is something that happens when individuals who hold TOV Values get to know each other – they learn to trust. Something that is being left out of the discussions on violence is the massive loss of trust in our world. The Torah teaches that it is our individual and collective responsibility to “repair our world.” It requires trust – we must learn to trust ourselves and each other. This leads to SHALOM – peace, totality, and wholeness in our world.

Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day and it is important to remember the men and women who have served in the military. Many experienced the violence of war. We want to thank them for their service and commitment.

Choose Life by Doing TOV!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor