What is a “Real Man”?

I was listening to KRLD radio and they had an interesting segment about women and guns. There has been a large increase in the number of women who are taking concealed weapons training classes. The person being interviewed was an ex-military gun instructor who made some very important points. He said that he felt, from what he's heard from many of the women he teaches, that the increase in those who are getting training and gun licenses is a reaction to the violence perpetrated against women today!

He added that women make better students, because they listen. They don't come to the training with poor habits and pre-conceived notions. More than that, he said that women do not come to the trainings as an "ego" thing. Women don't need to carry a gun to feel like "real women." They carry a gun to defend themselves against men. A male who needs to carry a gun as an ego power booster to feel like a "real man," is a danger to everyone. I'm not against people using guns to defend themselves or go hunting if that's what they wish -- but I am against people having guns if they are enraged, angry, irrational, violent people!

If "Perception" is "Reality," then everyone's perceptions are different. For instance, when we use the word, "God," that depends upon what the perception of the one using that word is. With seven billion people, that's seven billion perceptions, no two alike. Theologies are different, mythologies are different, and perceptions are different. Where can we find common ground? The answer is “Values.” 

The TOV Standard is a tool we can use to not only set boundaries and to identify “the common good.” It may be used to define what it means to be “A Real Man."

● A Real Man is one who listens and one who learns.

● A Real Man is one whose "ego" is not tied to violence, toughness and authoritarian power.

● A "Real Man" is one whose Thoughts, Words and Acts are focused on doing TOV.

The bottom line is that men and women who reveal the “image of the Creator” are those who hold Primary Core Values that Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life More Functional and Increase the Quality of Life.

Two lessons we learned from the story about the Garden in Eden are:

(1) Every person has the potential to reflect “the image of the Creator” through their actions – or reflect “the image of the serpent (a wild predatory animal) through their thoughts, words, and actions.

(2) The male and female in the garden were created to be co-creators and co-shepherding rulers (the model for power established in the first creation account is that of a shepherd). In order to be what they were created to be – they must act in harmony together according to the TOV Standard.

As Males learn to free themselves from the terrible insecurities placed upon them by their cultures and learn how to be co-creators and co-shepherding rulers with women, the world will begin to be transformed for the better. In the meantime, take cover! 

Do TOV Choose Life 

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

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