Suicide is About Pain

I was sitting and reading, when my daughter texted me about the death of Robin Williams. I, like so many people, was in shock. I grew up watching Mork and Mindy and listened to his standup routines howling with laughter, especially his use of different voices. His death, and the way he chose to end his life have special impact for me, because I specialize in suicide, homicide and domestic violence for the police, military and general public. I help people deal with the shock, anger, grief and devastation caused when someone chooses to end their life.

It has now come out that Robin Williams battled many demons, depression, addiction and most recently a diagnosis of Parkinson’s. Suicide is about pain, and ending that pain. Having thoughts about suicide is not abnormal. In the State of Texas there are 22 million people. It is estimated that at any one time 1 million people are having thoughts of suicide. It becomes a problem when someone decides to act upon those thoughts.

Suicide affects all kinds of people. Belonging to a particular religious group, social club or organization cannot make someone suicide safe! We all have ambivalent feelings. We want to die, but we also want to live. Part of what I do is listening to why someone wants to die and then have them tell me why they want to live. I encourage people to choose life. The program I created is in fact called Choosing Life. It is based on the Biblical idea in the Torah which says, "I put before you this day life and good, death and evil, choose life." Easier said than done!

I am not making a value judgment because I did not experience his pain. Author, Peter Golden said, he gives Robin Williams credit for prevailing as long as he did. It brings to mind the story of the prophet Elijah. He was charged by God with a number of tasks, but ran away into the wilderness and hid. Elijah seems to have burnt out. He loved and served God -- but had a difficult time with human evil. Eventually, God appeared to understand his pain and took him away in a heavenly chariot.

It is not our victories, but prevailing over our failures, defeats and suffering which help us grow and make us more resilient. We are not diviners. We cannot see what waits around the corner. Before my mother died at 95, she asked me, "Why do I have to still be here? I don't want to be Methuselah!" I answered," I don't know. Maybe it's like the first Rocky movie. The night before the fight, he is in the arena by himself and understands that he is not concerned with winning, he just wants to go the distance."

I pray that the soul of Robin Williams is at peace, is whole and out of pain. For me, I am choosing life and helping others to do the same, asking for YAH's help to go the distance! 

Choose Life by Doing TOV!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor