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Thanksgiving is Everyday

I had just finished officiating a wedding for two of my former students and their families, both of whom I know for many years. It's always such a pleasure for me personally to share in such “Simchas" (joyous occasions) with the families and especially with the children who grew up with me as their rabbi. 

Afterwards, at the reception, the discussion at the table focused on "catching up" with a number of people from my former congregation, whom I had not seen in years. People told me I looked good and that I seemed much happier. Yes, for me, learning to be happier is a work in process. One person wanted to know just how I managed that! I responded that I found much wisdom in the old saying, "Count your blessings." I make a concerted effort to become aware of my blessings, especially the ones that happen daily. Even if one has no Higher Power, he or she can still be aware of and thankful for their "blessings", or however they refer to such things.

I added that, we come from a tradition which recognizes at least 100 blessings a day. Not because the Creator needs our blessings, but to make us aware that those things are gifts that are given daily. Learning to be GRATEFUL, THANKFUL AND APPRECIATIVE is part of the process of learning to be happier.

The "GIVING" part of Thanksgiving is directly tied to TOV! (words, thoughts and actions which Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life More Functional and Increase the Quality of Life) Making sure the most vulnerable people and animals have food, clothing, shelter, A CHANCE, is not one day a year!  It is EVERY DAY! Please, enjoy your families, enjoy your food, enjoy your company, enjoy the warmth, and enjoy the season!

"THANKS" + "GIVING" = TOV!

Doing and teaching TOV and Choosing Life helps me to be happier. I'm enjoying my children, my work, my home and my life, right now, not someday! Thanksgiving is Every Day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

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BAR+BAT MITZVAH IS NOT A DAY…2.0

I recently started working with a new student towards a Bar Mitzvah ceremony and experience suitable to his needs. I was sitting there with his parents discussing which service we would use and the requirements. I was teaching about what the concept of being a Bar Mitzvah means and his father suddenly said with a gleam in his eye, "I just had a wonderful idea! I was never offered the chance to become Bar Mitzvah. I would love the opportunity to study with my son and share this experience!"

The son thought it was a great idea. I told his dad, by studying, he will fulfill one of the most important "mitzvahs" there is, to "Teach these instructions to your children." How can a parent teach their children values and lessons which they themselves don't know? Why sit in the Bliss of Ignorance, when one can benefit from learning and practicing the Wisdom of the Ages? This knowledge opens up whole worlds and provides guidance and a values system that helps create a different reality for the common good!

Lately, I've been encountering more and more people who want "More" out of life. They are searching for meaning and purpose beyond their daily routine. In Jewish tradition, there is the concept of a person who doesn't even know enough to ask a question. If one is honestly searching for meaning, especially in a Spiritual Sense, they should at least be literate. What does the ancient wisdom tell us, what lessons do the stories teach? How does this apply to my life and my choices?

Both father and son in this case chose to learn about the idea of TOV from Genesis 1. They felt it was the beginning of a new "creation" for them both.

Do TOV Choose Life!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

If find my blogs valuable, please share them with others and go to our TOV Center Facebook Page and “Like It” -- click here.

Your financial support is greatly appreciated. Click Here to contribute.

TOV and Our Democracy

One of the things I tell my premarital couples is that, though marriages may be Made in Heaven (or Hell), the Maintenance is Done here on Earth! Every day!!! All relationships need to be maintained in some way. It is our responsibility to nurture and nourish relationships, as well as fix and mend them. It is the same with our Democracy and our way of life. "WE THE PEOPLE" is not a spectator sport!

Last Sunday, The Dallas Morning News had an article in the Travel Section about the Munich Documentation Center for the History of National Socialism. This museum has no artifacts, but tells its chilling story with documents, photos and videos. It explains how the Nazis came to power in Munich and the lessons that history imparts. Winfried Nerdinger, the Director of the museum asks,"Why did it happen here, (Munich) not in any other place? And what do we learn about the fragility of Democracy?”

After the slaughter and brutality of the First World War, the accompanying humiliation, deprivation and starvation destabilized Germany, leading to unrest and revolution, especially in Munich, Bavaria's seat of power. "In the complicated political churn that followed, and a tug of war between moderate and political left-wingers, the political right started planting anti-Semitic seeds."

"By January 1919, the National German Workers Party was created and Adolf Hitler, who had a talent for getting people worked up, quickly rose to power within it." Hitler declared that Munich will always be the head-quarters for the movement. By 1922, there were 8,000 card carrying members. In 1933, the party seized power in Munich's City Hall. Thirteen days after the Nazis came to power, Dachau was opened.

The Director further said that, divide and conquer was the tactic. The Nazis split up people into "insiders and outsiders" -- US vs. THEM. Everyone and everything that didn't fit in this society was excluded. "On the ground floor of the museum, there is a news ticker of right-wing extremist actions from around the world that is continually updated, a stream of hatred, bigotry and exclusion that reminds us to stay vigilant, lest Democracy slip from our grasp again."

The cornerstone of the American political system is "WE THE PEOPLE," but unless Americans are able to communicate with others and act together, the "WE" will cease to exist!!

As Americans are becoming more isolated, more and more of them are becoming radicalized and joining extremist groups including cults. A recent CNN documentary showed how social media was being used to attract Americans. The analysis revealed that ISIS, among other groups, uses social media to repeat one strong message, "We did not belong where we were; now we belong!"

The TOV Teams model creates a place where everyone that shares TOV Values, can not only belong -- they fill spaces that no one else can fill. Each person brings his or her unique life experiences, skills, talents, creativity, ideas and passions to nurture, nourish, fix and mend Lives and Life, for the Common Good, a win-win for all. Come join TOV Teams and experience the full meaning of "WE THE PEOPLE" and the power and happiness that working together gives. Become a Founding Member of the TOV Center’s TOV Teams Network – Click Here.

Choose Life by Doing TOV!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

LIFE and TOV have Good Numbers & an Invitation for You

In the Hebrew alphabet, each letter has a numeral equivalent. For instance, the letter Aleph, which begins the alphabet equals 1, next letter Bet equals 2 and so on. There are a number of people who believe that the sum total of words or sentences have some hidden spiritual meaning or code.

The word "Life" in Hebrew, CHAI, equals the number 18. The letter CHET is 8 and the smallest letter YOD is 10=18. The name CHAIYIM( the plural of CHAI), literally means "Lives." Many of you who seen Fiddler On The Roof remember the song " To Life, L"CHAIYIM", which is the well known toast. An important part of a Jewish prayer service is called SHEMONAH ESREI, (or Amidah, because it's recited while standing) contains 18 blessings. When someone donates or gives money as a gift it is usually CHAI, $18 or double CHAI, $36 and so on. You can sum up the Jewish view of Life and Living from Fiddler, "One day it's honey cake, next day a stomach ache, drink L'CHAIYIM To Life!"

Judaism is a tradition that draws on a rich past, works for a positive future but is focused on the present. The work that Jim Myers and I are doing, teaching the TOV Standard, providing a means to examine our MEMES and to form collectives, teams of people with shared values and commitment, to address issues that need to be addressed and to take the actions needed to solve the practical problems our Political, Financial and Religious institutions cannot!

The word TOV also has good numbers! (TOV Standard are words thoughts and actions which Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life More Functional and Increases the Quality of Life) TET is 9, VAV is 6, BET/VET is 2. TOV equals 17. Tens and Sevens. Ten Plagues, Ten Commandments, Ten Generations from Adam to Noah another Ten Generations to Abraham. Seven Days of the week, Seven Days of Creation, Seven Blessings in the Jewish wedding ceremony. My own life seems to go in seven and ten year cycles. So, doing TOV strengthens and validates CHAIYIM, Life.

I saw a tee shirt recently that really hit the mark. It said, "TO CHANGE, WE MUST BE SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!" Are You Sick and Tired of the WAY IT IS? We have the power to see what COULD BE. IT'S TIME FOR TOV!

Many of you know that I have been working on making TOV a Reality in lives for a long time. An important part of my work has been the founding of the TOV Center. I have been giving hints of what it will be doing as have been putting the pieces together. In the next few weeks I will be telling you much more as we launch the first phase of the TOV Center’s work.

We are in still in the construction phase of our website (still editing, all of the links are not live, new pages will be added & different browsers may create different looks), but I want to share two very important pages with you today: WHAT IS TOV & WHY TOV.

Many of you know me and know I care about and do my best to help people by doing TOV and have been doing it for a very long time. The TOV Center will help me help many more people. I hope you will join with me by becoming a Founding Member of the TOV Center and making a year-end contribution. My goal is to have the first 100 Lifetime Members join with me before the end of 2015, during this prelaunch period. I hope you will be among that group. If, that level isn’t possible for you at this moment, join at a level that works best for you. My primary goal is for us to be members of the TOV Team together – at any membership level! As I said above, the website is in a prelaunch mode right now, but a temporary Membership page is now online – CLICK HERE (you will recognize the role of “18” in membership levels).

I am really looking forward to receiving your email -- telling me you have become a fellow member of the TOV Team and are committed to the TOV vision – doing actions that Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life more Functional and Improve the Quality of Life!

Let’s Do TOV & Choose Life Together!

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

Great Example and Lesson About TOV

The following story was shared on Facebook. It is a great example and lesson about TOV.

In Crown Heights, there was a Jew, Yankel, who owned a bakery. He survived the camps. He once said, “You know why it is that I’m alive today? I was a kid, just a teenager at the time. We were on the train, in a boxcar, being taken to Auschwitz. Night came and it was freezing, deathly cold, in that boxcar. The Germans would leave the cars on the side of the tracks overnight, sometimes for days on end without any food, and of course, no blankets to keep us warm,” he said.

“Sitting next to me was an older Jew – this beloved elderly Jew - from my hometown I recognized, but I had never seen him like this. He was shivering from head to toe, and looked terrible. So I wrapped my arms around him and began rubbing him, to warm him up. I rubbed his arms, his legs, his face, his neck. I begged him to hang on. All night long; I kept the man warm this way. I was tired, I was freezing cold myself, my fingers were numb, but I didn’t stop rubbing the heat on to this man’s body. Hours and hours went by this way.

Finally, night passed, morning came, and the sun began to shine. There was some warmth in the cabin, and then I looked around the car to see some of the other Jews in the car. To my horror, all I could see were frozen bodies, and all I could hear was a deathly silence.

Nobody else in that cabin made it through the night – they died from the frost. Only two people survived: the old man and me… The old man survived because somebody kept him warm; I survived because I was warming somebody else…”

Let me tell you the secret of Judaism. When you warm other people’s hearts, you remain warm yourself. When you seek to support, encourage and inspire others; then you discover support, encouragement and inspiration in your own life as well. That, my friends, is “Judaism 101”.

A Bar\Bat Mitzvah is not a day, it’s a life!

One of the things I love to do is, offer an alternative Bar\Bat experience not only for children with special needs, but also for children (and their parents) who truly want to be part of a meaningful Rite of Passage. For so many children and their families, this has become a Riteless Passage and Passageless Rite exiting the Bar\Bat Mitzvah Mill. Large numbers of these post-Bar\Bat mitzvah vets will not set foot in a synagogue again until necessary.

My students love the one on one instruction and their parents enjoy and share in the learning as well. Sometimes we delve into deep issues, questions of life and death, about God, about the Bible and the stories being told. I was engaged in just such a discussion with a young lady, who decided to become Bat Mitzvah a few years older than the normal age. She was struggling with exactly what the notion of being a Bat Mitzvah is and its meaning. We came to an insight that I wanted to share. The best way to understand this rite is that it is not just the day -- it's all the choices and consequences which come after that day.

● A Bar\Bat Mitzvah is not a day -- it's a life.

● It is the obligation to take responsibility for the decisions that will be made, just like like a grown up adult.

● It is the taking on of the self-obligation to act for the good of the community as well as for your own.

In order for someone to make these very important choices and decisions there must be a Values Standard. She just happened to pick the Creation Narrative which contains the TOV STANDARD for her D'var Torah (her interpretation and teaching on the story). She echoed her teacher and said, "Must be a good reason they started the whole Bible with the TOV Standard." (It does a rabbi's heart good.)

She may not remember the Ten Commandments, or the words of the Prophets, but she now has a Standard of Values for making TOV decisions and choices. The Sages teach, that every person should repent (do Teshuvah, process of reconciliation and repair of relationships) the day before one's death! Since we don't know when that day is, the message is, that should be every day.

Becoming Bar\Bat Mitzvah may begin on a particular day, but the process and the journey continues throughout our lives. Every day, we stand before the Tree of Knowledge of TOV and RAH, Good and Evil, Life and Death -- Choose Life by Doing TOV Every Day!

If find my blogs valuable, please share them with others and go to our TOV Center Facebook Page and “Like It” -- click here.

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor