Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Becoming Grandma

This issue of Guideposts (May 2016) has a great article by 60 Minutes reporter Lesley Stahl. She has just published her new book, Becoming Grandma, the name of the article is too (pages 26-30). Enjoy!

We get to reboot with our grandkids, fix the mistakes or make amends for what we did as parents. Of course, our grandchildren force us to confront our age. . . During parenthood, we’re burdened with responsibility and fear (not to mention lack of sleep). Grandparents’ love is unfettered, pure. . . The balance shifts when our children become parents. We grands begin holding our tongues (we try, anyway). We live by their rules now. And rule number one is: “Do it their way. . . .”

This role of grandmother inspired me to write a book, Becoming Grandma, asking all sorts of experts about “the joys and science of the new grandparenting,” as the book’s subtitle puts it. Of all the interviews, one conversation stands out. It was with a psychiatrist named Nancy Davis, of Bradenton, Florida. There is one question she always asks her patients: “Who loved you?”

“If nobody loved you in your first five or six years, you’re in trouble,” she said. “It’s like you can’t know what love is unless somebody loved you during that time.”

“Is it enough if the answer is, ‘My grandmother loved me’?” I asked.

“It’s enough,” she said.

Steve Leber, the CEO of grandparents.com, told me, “God gave us grandchildren to make up for aging.”

Ain’t it the truth.

Being a grandparent gives us lots of opportunities to do TOV!

Shalom,
Jim Myers

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Living Without Leaven

This Friday is the first seder of Passover. I hear complaints from many people, myself included, about not only eating matzah for a week, but no leavened products at all! Matzah tends to be like cardboard, depends what you put on it, but the Infamous Passover desserts, OMG. Some, until recently, were used by three letter agencies instead of waterboarding to extract information! By the way, I do not hold with the thought that eating leaven during Passover will bring Divine Punishment – but I do take the lesson and the discipline of it seriously!

A few things about leaven. Nothing with leaven was ever offered on the sacrificial altar in the Temple. Only flatbread, flour and water rolled and baked quickly, before any fermentation began was offered. This would probably go with the idea that nothing spoiled, fermented or decomposing was put on an altar to God. Wine was not used in the sacrifice process either, only the blood of the animal.

What is "Leaven?" It comes from the Latin, levare, “to raise, a substance used to produce fermentation to lighten a batter or dough or liquid; usually yeast.” It also means “something that modifies, mingles, permeates and infuses.” There are a host of things which modify, infuse and permeate our lives on a regular basis, like False, Empty Values and Standards which literally SPEW FORTH from our technical devises, confirming our deepest insecurities, ultimately driving us to acquire some miracle product which will be the answer to all our wishes!

For me, Passover is another opportunity to “live outside the box." Like the Sabbath, Shabbat, we unplug from the mundane, from all the anxieties, tensions and stress of our everyday lives. Us unplugged.

At Succoth, Tabernacles, which occurs in the fall, we are supposed to eat in the Succah, a simple hut, open to the sky. Except for electricity for light, no devices! Why do this? Because it gives us perspective. It provides people the chance to talk, to laugh, to sing to linger over a meal. It removes what normally permeates our lives and allows a moment to breath, to reconsider, to review.

Maybe there is a small lesson not having leaven products for the week, in remembering that nothing with leaven was offered on the Temple altar, a Holy Place. Holy also means separate. This is a symbolic way to do a SPRING CLEANING FOR THE SOUL! We separate ourselves from what intrudes, infuses and permeates our thoughts and our actions.

Lastly, the Torah states that there should be no leaven in our dwellings during Passover. The Sages were very creative in their approach to leaven in a place. First after a thorough cleaning, the owner of the home can recite an Aramaic statement that basically says, “I did what was required for Passover, if there is any leaven somewhere not found, it is to be regarded as null.”

Also, the place where leaven is stored, the custom is to sell the leaven to a non-Jew for the week, so technically, it is not yours. Here is an opportunity to do some TOV. I go through all the nonperishables with leaven and give them to the local food pantry or my friend Pastor Roy's church. TOV made easy.

Can we live without "the Leaven" of the familiar? That is up to each of us.

Blessings in this time of Renewal

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

Friday, April 8, 2016

Hine Ma Tov – Behold how TOV!


Psalm 133:1 was one of my favorite songs long before I understood what TOV meant. Now that the TOV Center exist, it is even better. Psalm 133 is a Song of Ascents. Many scholars believe the title indicates that these psalms were sung by worshippers as they ascended the road to Jerusalem to attend the three pilgrim festivals, while others think they were sung by the Levite singers as they ascended the fifteen steps to minister at the Temple in Jerusalem.

Today, it is sung in synagogues and churches around the world. It is something that Jews and Christians share -- and feel -- its importance. Rabbi Leynor and I are witnesses to its message. Below are the words in English and a transliteration of the Hebrew words.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

Hine(y) ma tov u’ma-nayim shevet ach-im gam ya-chad.

Below are links to my favorite two videos Hine Ma Tov. The first is a Christian version in English, while the second is a Jewish version and is in Hebrew.

Paul Wilbur

Mordechai Ben David Avraham Fried

Hope you enjoy them.

Shabbat Shalom,

Jim Myers

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Enter the MATZ’OY!

It's coming! That time when were not allowed what's risen, only what's not risen. Passover is upon us.

I've already shared some of my fond memories of great preparation, the cleaning, the cooking, the company and of course, the fruit compote, a much needed addition to counter all that matzah! We read the story of the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt, the remembrance of an historical event, that has taken on mythical and legendary proportions. In a number of ways, the Exodus story reflects part of our journey through life. Many times, we must leave the familiar and the known and we are either kicked out, or forced to leave the familiar for the midbar, the wilderness of the unknown.

The unknown and unfamiliar is feared, but it also provides a new look at ourselves, our situation and our options. It is a great opportunity to encounter our Highest Self, Higher Power, Great Spirit, The Force, etc. . . . Once a person faces the unknown, scary as that might be, the unfamiliar becomes a place of learning and growth.

Recently, I was speaking to a parent of one of my students. Though they were born Jewish, they were not raised in the religion. She asked, "Why spend those days eating the matzah and not eating products with leaven? Does God really care?"

I answered that I don't know about what "God" thinks, but for me, it is an exercise, a discipline, a spring cleaning for the soul, a new beginning in the season of life renewed and a spiritual tie to an ancient tradition in which I choose to participate and find meaning.

Eating matzah and keeping the Passover is not giving up bread, but adding the taste of something different than the rest of the year. This is one way I am bound to the Past, Present and Future and to be grateful and thankful for the unfamiliar and to not fear exploring the unknown -- because it is there that lies our greatest adventures.

Shalom,
Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor



Tuesday, March 8, 2016

What Does It Take to Raise a Creative Child? Include TOV!

"Child prodigies rarely become adult geniuses who change the world." So says Adam Grant in the Points section in the Dallas Morning News. The thing that holds them back is that they don't learn to be original. Practice makes perfect, but it doesn't make new! "The gifted learn to play magnificent Mozart melodies, but rarely compose their own original scores. They focus their energy on consuming existing scientific knowledge, not producing new insights. They conform to codified rules, rather than inventing their own. 

Research suggests that the most creative children are the least likely to become the teacher's pet. "In adulthood, many prodigies become experts in their fields and leaders in their organizations. Yet only a fraction of gifted children eventually become revolutionary adult creators. Those who do must make a painful transition to an adult who ultimately remakes a domain."

One study shows that parents of highly creative children encourage their children to think for themselves. They tended to place emphasis on moral values, rather than on specific rules. Emphasis was placed on the development of one's own ethical code. Here is a great opportunity to teach a standard that is inclusive and not extractive, that brings people together instead of splitting them apart, a standard of behavior where parents set the example by their actions and provide a model, a standard that encourages thinking "without the box," a safe place to exchange ideas, no matter how far out they may be. The TOV Standard provides this opportunity. It teaches children (and their parents) to ask this question:

Will my Thoughts and Words lead to Actions that Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life More Functional and Increase the Quality of Life or will they Destroy Life, Threaten Life, Make Life Less Functional or Decrease the Quality of Life?

Parents can encourage their children to pursue excellence and success, but they can also encourage them to find Joy in their Work! Their children have freedom to sort out their own values and discover their own interests. "Mozart showed interest in music before taking lessons, not the other way around." Many of a child’s first teachers are not elite musicians, but simply people who happen to live nearby. "What motivates people to practice a skill for thousands of hours? The most reliable answer is, passion-discovered through natural curiosity or nurtured through early enjoyable experiences." Albert Einstein once reflected, "Love is a better teacher than a sense of duty."

We can include here the over emphasis on standardized testing! Jonathan Cole, a Professor at Columbia University says: "What we have witnessed here in the United States is the TYRANNY of high-stakes testing and the belief that you can measure ability-by simply looking at SAT scores."  I have never been a proponent of standardized tests; they showed nothing of my creative abilities and my experiences, but were a factor when I applied to Rabbinical School. My GPA at Rutgers was high, Phi Beta Kappa, Who's Who in American Universities and Colleges, Rutgers Honors, Rutgers Scholar.  My GRE scores were, "Eh", but my experience, creativity and personality and my answers in the interview played an important role as well. At Hebrew Union College (Reform), the second question they asked me was about my GRE scores. In my interview at The Jewish Theological Seminary (Conservative, where I attended) -- that was their last question.

If you want your children to bring original ideas into the world, provide them a model and teach them the TOV Standard and TOV actions. Let them pursue THEIR PASSIONS, not yours!

Would you like to gather with others and learn more about the TOV Center Vision and the benefits of incorporating TOV Values and the TOV Standard in their lives the lives of their children? If you would be interested in attending or holding a gathering, CLICK HERE to email me.  I would appreciate it if you would do one or both of these:

● If you like this blog go to the TOV Center Facebook Page and “Like It” -- click here .

● Become a Team Member of the TOV Center and join the journey with us – click here.

Shalom,

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Professing Religious Memes Without TOV

I was doing some grocery shopping the other day at one of the local small stores. While I was in line, the cashier was very pleasant, but it seemed she was "in the spirit." There were some regular shoppers ahead of me and she was ranting on about “The Lord Jesus did this for me and that for me” and made sure to wish everyone a “Blessed Day.” I just kept my mouth shut and observed. The woman in front of me gave off the vibe of a person who one does not trifle with. She appeared to be agitated and impatient. When it was her turn she blasted the cashier for "pushing her religious beliefs where they don't belong." The cashier was taken aback and became silent. After the order was bagged she wished the agitated customer a “Blessed Day,” to which the customer responded, "I don't feel like having a F***ing blessed day" and stormed out.

I'm very wary of people who always feel the need to show everyone else how pious and devout they are on the outside. I know in the New Testament, Yeshua calls out someone who prays with full Jewish regalia, with tephilin and tallit (prayer straps and prayer shawl) in public. When my father was in college, he was the only Jew on the football team. It was a very anti-Semitic time in the 30's. He would go off in a corner and do his afternoon and evening prayers. His coach, who was a Catholic came over to him and put his arm around him and told him how much respect he had for my dad for doing that, especially in such a private personal manner.

I want to quote from a letter someone wrote to the Dallas Morning News about these types of people and his experience:

"I worked 32 years for a major oil company and part of my job was to interview people wanting to operate a branded gas station/convenience store or wholesale distributorship. It was my experience over those 32 years that those who came professing their religion and throwing a `God bless you" or "I'm praying for you", or other such phrases to make you somehow believe they were honest, straightforward and could be depended upon not to cheat the customer almost were, without exception, the exact opposite!"

The TOV Standard, ( Words, Thoughts and Actions which Protect Life, Preserve Life, Make Life MORE Functional and Increase the Quality of Life) is NOT  Religion, it is ancient wisdom that centers around Common Values, Common Ground for the Common Good. Doing TOV and Living according to TOV Values is not a spectator sport, it is an Action done individually and collectively without the need to trumpet empty piety and devotion to show others. The Jewish Sages teach, "Say Little and DO MUCH!"

This is the inaugural year for the TOV Center. If you feel that the work Jim and I do has merit and can provide options for growth and self-discovery and a more peaceful safer society, please join us by becoming a member of TOV Center, a one year membership is $18.00 and Lifetime is $180. Also if you would make a tax deductible donation it would be greatly appreciated. CLICK HERE for more information about membership and about donating.  

Just like the old TV commercial said, "You don't have to be Jewish...." -- Join the TOV Center and become an active participant in co-creating a New Reality.
Shalom,

Rabbi Jeffrey Leynor


Predators Above and Beyond the Rule of Law Who Use It Against You

Have you ever heard of the Enron Loophole?

Enron had an edge over Nymex in that it was a member of the shadowy, over-the-counter energy market nobody seemed to be watching. Not only that, but Congress had gone so far as to approve special legislation in 2000 promising not to watch Enron as part of its infamous measure called the Commodity Futures Modernization Act. . . Buried in the bill’s legal jargon lay the even more notorious “Enron loophole,” a piece of legislation that specifically exempted over-the-counter energy traders from any regulation. The text of the loophole, drafted in consultation with lawyers hired by Enron, left over-the-counter traders free to behave exactly as they pleased in buying and selling financial products pivotal to the health of the United States and the global economy. The loophole was so potent it took the liberty of making clear that if regulators did happen to uncover fraud in the over-the-counter market, they were still forbidden to do anything about it.[i]

The only protection citizens have from the financial predators that are extracting trillions of dollars from the American economy is the “Rule of Law.” Over the past few decades, not only have they infected the minds of unsuspecting citizens with a “Less Regulations the Better” virus and removing laws from the books that protect citizens from their usurious strategies – they have been paying millions to lobbyists to have new laws passed that prohibit citizens from suing them (like the Enron Loophole above).

For this elite and powerful group money has become more than something they use to make investments, it has become a weapon and the institutions that are supposed to protect citizens into barriers that protect them from justice. Today, two of their latest attacks are in the news today:

(1) Buried in the fine print of certain college enrollment agreements is language that takes away students’ and families’ constitutional right to a day in court. It’s called a “forced arbitration” clause, and it throws any dispute out of court – and into a private, secretive system where a tribunal chosen by the school gets to decide who wins, and who loses.  See -- https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/dept-of-ed-dont-let-colleges-deny-students-of-their-right-to-sue?source=03032016email

(2) Facing hundreds of millions of dollars in lawsuits, the giant biotechnology company Mnsanto last year received a legislative gift from the House of Representatives, a one-paragraph addition to a sweeping chemical safety bill that could help shield it from legal liability for a toxic chemical only it made. See -- http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/01/business/monsanto-could-benefit-from-a-chemical-safety-bill.html?ref=topics&_r=1  & http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/595/136/204/?cid=fb_LG_AdsMonsantoAnniston&src=facebook_ads&campaign=sign_595136204&z00m=27500778

Things you can do:

(1) Sign the petitions at the links above.

(2) Write your US Representative & Senators (just a short note will work & a note received by mail is much more powerful than an email or text).  For contact info for Representatives CLICK HERE; for Senators CLICK HERE.

(3) Ask political candidates if they know about the above attacks on citizens and what they will do if elected.

(4) Share this info with others.

(5) Become a member of the TOV Center, connect with others who share Core Values that Place Human Life Above Profits and Network Together to Co-Create ChangeCLICK HERE.




[i] The Asylum: The Renegades Who Hijacked the World’s Oil Market by Leah McGrath Goodman © 2011; Harper Collins, New York, NY; p. 218.